- There is no shame in being caught reading Merideth Leyva’s “Married to the Military”, the one with the bright pink camo cover. Well, maybe a little.

- There’s just no easy way to swallow the fact that, in our own little community, our women are going out to defend us men and our children.

- Really, the only guy who could ever pull off a beret was Che Guevara, and his beard and hair (and, well, political leanings) would never cut in today’s Armed Forces.

- There will be a time when you are enjoying a lovely stroll with your infant. Bright skies, cool breeze...just a dazzling day. Then, you will be overcome with a half dozen F-16s, MRAPs or Hummers passing by. It will be a hard mirror in which to view your life.

- At the end of the day, a grunt’s hands will smell like grease, polish or dirt. Yours will smell like fecal-scented baby powder. Really, it’s a toss-up.

- Though many places offer military discounts, some restrict those discounts to Active Duty Service Members only. If you’re a dude, none of those places look twice at your dependent ID.

- There’s consolation in watching films like Vin Diesel’s “The Pacifier” and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s “The Game Plan”, where manly men take up the mantle of caregiver. Small consolation.

- With a toddler in one arm, and an infant carrier in the other, you will never be accused of ‘overcompensating’ for some real or perceived personal inadequacies.

- When you were a younger man, you had fantasies of adventure and travel. Well, the military has or will cover the travel, and let me tell you that changing a blown-out diaper, one-handed, on the floor of a primitive European bathroom is about as much adventure as I needed that month.

- The military has a long and proud tradition of elaborate, ceremonial parties and receptions. Historically, military wives have been charged with organizing and orchestrating such events. Fortunately, in what is expected of us men, the bar is set very low.

- You will have every opportunity to indulge in the excesses of official and unofficial social gatherings, without, you know, the ugly aftermath of early morning PT.

- More than once, I’ve been in the commissary’s family restroom changing an offensive diaper, and had a gracious lady offer to help. While I could have been offended—non-ovarian discriminatory treatment—I found it to be very reassuring to know that I had backup.

- On that note, while looking confused and helpless will earn you any number of offers of help, try not to double down on your already compromised masculinity by accepting.

- Over the years, there’s been a movement to make childcare more, shall we say, ‘manly’. Jeep brand strollers, for instance. But there’s no getting around the fact that, yes, you’re pushing a stroller and toting a diaper bag.

- If you’re like me, and enjoy your occasional lumberjack breakfast, suck it up and try the DFAC. In ‘Commando’, Arnold Schwarzenegger boasts “I eat Green Berets for breakfast.” You, Sir, have the opportunity to eat breakfast with Green Berets. Not the same, I know, But with their $2-3 breakfasts, it is a wonder that I don’t weigh 300 pounds. Anymore.

- With every PCS, you have a ready-made crew of drinkin’ buddies.

- “Yes, it’s 11:00 on a Tuesday, and I’m standing in line at the Commissary with diapers in one arm and a screaming toddler in the other. Yes, that’s Herbal Essence melon hair conditioner in my cart. Why yes, these are coupons I’m holding. And yes, I’m comfortable with all of this.”

- Most support civilians on post are used to dealing with battle-hardened, PCS warrior wives, who have the organizational and operational skills of elite infantry units. You Sir, are burdened by no such lofty expectations.   

- Yes, the exercise classes and programs at many post fitness centers are primarily designed for women. Yes, most of those women are much fitter than you’ll ever be. And yes, Pilates, Zumba and yoga would provide you with varied health benefits. But…dude?!

- ‘Saving Private Ryan’ ends with a poignant scene: “Tell me I have lived a good life”, pleads Ryan. “Tell me I’m a good man.” Let these criteria define your military ‘career’.